From "How to Be an Anti-Racist Parent: Real-Life Parents Share Real-Life Tips", published by New Demographic.
Let us dive right in:
Rule 1: Seek out professionals of color
"Can't take credit for this tip but I heard about it from a book called 40 Ways to Raise a Nonracist Child by Mary Ann French and Barbara Mathias. One of their tips was to seek out professionals of color, i.e. your pediatrician, dentist, lawyer, contractor, piano teacher etc. When children see people of all colors in lots of different roles, they are not so quick to assume things like, "Oh black people can't be doctors. I can't be a doctor, because I have never seen one who looks like me."
--Nina Birnbaum
Rule 2: Never stop dismantling your own racist beliefs
"Last fall, my son Buster was a high school senior. We were doing some college visits as part of his application process. [...] The campus is surrounded by a lovely green park. As we approached the duck pond, driving slowly and still half in a stupor of academic privilege, we saw a raggedy group of people standing near the water throwing bread at the ducks. Even at a distance I could see that they were black and youngish. Without thinking I blurted out “What are those kids doing coming on campus to mess around at the duck pond?” Buster didn’t say anything for a few beats as we drove closer. It became really obvious all of a sudden that it was actually a family group of prospective students and parents just like us, only black. They were dressed better than us, in fact, and exploring the campus on foot to enjoy its beauty. Buster laughed out loud, realizing my foolish and racist outburst at the same second that I was flooded with shame. He said, “I can’t believe you just said that. You think because they are black they don’t belong here?” I said “You are right. I can’t believe I said it either. It just came out of my mouth. How racist and ignorant! They are just like us, visiting the campus. I am so ashamed of myself.” He just nodded and kept chuckling. [...] Our job is to teach them the tools to dismantle it, in our own fumbling, open-hearted way."
--Cloudscome
Rule 3: Speak truthfully about your child's ethnicity.
"When confronted by people who don't know, it's none of their beeswax. Never whisper or make excuses. Speak proudly, especially if your kids are within earshot. The people asking are the ones with the problem, not your child."
--Meera Johnson
Rule 4: Don’t let others decide your child’s ethnicity for them.
"As a first time parent of a newborn, the lesson I've had reinforced at this tender age is the following: start early and often. Don't assume that as a parent you can wait until your child is of school age to discuss race. [...] If your child is of a minority ethnic group, be prepared to assert that ethnicity as you choose, and later, as your child chooses, I asserted my daughter's ethnicity when she was 5 days old. While signing final paperwork for her hospital discharge, I noticed that a form filled out in the delivery room listed her "color or race" as "Cauc" - for Caucasian. It was a blank space, so the "check only one" scenario wasn't a factor. In a strange reversal of the one-drop-rule, the ethnicity of my mother (European-American, and therefore "Caucasian") and my spouse (Latino/Puerto Rican) was enough to "qualify" my daughter as Caucasian, despite my obviously not-white appearance. The form was filled out by a labor and delivery nurse, whom I'm sure meant no harm and was judging my by daughter's 5-minute-old appearance. The form may only be for the hospital records. But when the form was left on the counter, I simply crossed out "Caucasian" and wrote in "multiracial." It doesn't begin to describe my daughter or her family ties, and it may be only a footnote on some future statistic about births and deaths in my state, my county, or maybe just my hospital. But it's a start."
--Susan Lyons-Joell
Rule 5: Make time to talk
"I think the best way to teach about racism is to approach it in a similar manner to how one might begin talking to ones child about other things that may (or may not) make a parent feel a little uncomfortable to discuss, like sex. Both topics are big issues...but simply a part of life.
A preschooler might want to know things like why MLK had to fight for freedom in the first place [...] As the parents of African American children, we're also careful not to dwell on the fact that our ethnic group has been considered inferior, because we don't want them to become so self-conscious of others’ biases that it limits their ability. Instead, we choose to focus less on racism and more on the accomplishments of African Americans and the aspects of our culture that have been written out of standard education. We know that racism will eventually rear its ugly head; we try our best to give them the ammunition to confront it head-on when it does. Yet people of color aren't the only ones who need to understand prejudice. White children should be taught about it too, so that by the time it comes up in school, they are sensitized to the issue, not dismissive of it. And like sex, if a child has reached 9 or 10 without ever asking about it, it's probably a good idea to go ahead and have "the big talk". At that age, a fifteen minute history lesson should do the trick."
--Meera Johnson
Rule 6: Don’t wait for your kids to come to you with questions about racism.
"In my home, discussions about race, racial representation and racism are as common as the latest episode of “American Idol.” In fact, American Idol has been the starting point for some discussions! What my 8-year old contributes towards these discussions are very different than what my 13- year old contributes – but the main point is that they both contribute."
--Anonymous
Let us dive right in:
Rule 1: Seek out professionals of color
"Can't take credit for this tip but I heard about it from a book called 40 Ways to Raise a Nonracist Child by Mary Ann French and Barbara Mathias. One of their tips was to seek out professionals of color, i.e. your pediatrician, dentist, lawyer, contractor, piano teacher etc. When children see people of all colors in lots of different roles, they are not so quick to assume things like, "Oh black people can't be doctors. I can't be a doctor, because I have never seen one who looks like me."
--Nina Birnbaum
SUMMARY: in other words, to "fight racism", one should discriminate against a certain group of doctors because of their race.
Rule 2: Never stop dismantling your own racist beliefs
"Last fall, my son Buster was a high school senior. We were doing some college visits as part of his application process. [...] The campus is surrounded by a lovely green park. As we approached the duck pond, driving slowly and still half in a stupor of academic privilege, we saw a raggedy group of people standing near the water throwing bread at the ducks. Even at a distance I could see that they were black and youngish. Without thinking I blurted out “What are those kids doing coming on campus to mess around at the duck pond?” Buster didn’t say anything for a few beats as we drove closer. It became really obvious all of a sudden that it was actually a family group of prospective students and parents just like us, only black. They were dressed better than us, in fact, and exploring the campus on foot to enjoy its beauty. Buster laughed out loud, realizing my foolish and racist outburst at the same second that I was flooded with shame. He said, “I can’t believe you just said that. You think because they are black they don’t belong here?” I said “You are right. I can’t believe I said it either. It just came out of my mouth. How racist and ignorant! They are just like us, visiting the campus. I am so ashamed of myself.” He just nodded and kept chuckling. [...] Our job is to teach them the tools to dismantle it, in our own fumbling, open-hearted way."
--Cloudscome
SUMMARY: so basically, the next time you see a group of young people doing something that you think is odd, you should look to see if they are Black and, if they are, you must think to yourself nothing is odd, even if it is odd. Otherwise, you are a "racist." If you see somebody who looks like they are up to no good and happens to be Black, you should let your guard down, take a chance and assume that everything is fine. If it isn't, at least you aren't a "racist."
Rule 3: Speak truthfully about your child's ethnicity.
"When confronted by people who don't know, it's none of their beeswax. Never whisper or make excuses. Speak proudly, especially if your kids are within earshot. The people asking are the ones with the problem, not your child."
--Meera Johnson
SUMMARY: If your child is "ethnic", you should boast about it. Boasting about your child's race is "anti-racist", unless of course your child is White.
Rule 4: Don’t let others decide your child’s ethnicity for them.
"As a first time parent of a newborn, the lesson I've had reinforced at this tender age is the following: start early and often. Don't assume that as a parent you can wait until your child is of school age to discuss race. [...] If your child is of a minority ethnic group, be prepared to assert that ethnicity as you choose, and later, as your child chooses, I asserted my daughter's ethnicity when she was 5 days old. While signing final paperwork for her hospital discharge, I noticed that a form filled out in the delivery room listed her "color or race" as "Cauc" - for Caucasian. It was a blank space, so the "check only one" scenario wasn't a factor. In a strange reversal of the one-drop-rule, the ethnicity of my mother (European-American, and therefore "Caucasian") and my spouse (Latino/Puerto Rican) was enough to "qualify" my daughter as Caucasian, despite my obviously not-white appearance. The form was filled out by a labor and delivery nurse, whom I'm sure meant no harm and was judging my by daughter's 5-minute-old appearance. The form may only be for the hospital records. But when the form was left on the counter, I simply crossed out "Caucasian" and wrote in "multiracial." It doesn't begin to describe my daughter or her family ties, and it may be only a footnote on some future statistic about births and deaths in my state, my county, or maybe just my hospital. But it's a start."
--Susan Lyons-Joell
SUMMARY: ethnic-chauvinism is anti-racist if your child is "multiracial".
Rule 5: Make time to talk
"I think the best way to teach about racism is to approach it in a similar manner to how one might begin talking to ones child about other things that may (or may not) make a parent feel a little uncomfortable to discuss, like sex. Both topics are big issues...but simply a part of life.
A preschooler might want to know things like why MLK had to fight for freedom in the first place [...] As the parents of African American children, we're also careful not to dwell on the fact that our ethnic group has been considered inferior, because we don't want them to become so self-conscious of others’ biases that it limits their ability. Instead, we choose to focus less on racism and more on the accomplishments of African Americans and the aspects of our culture that have been written out of standard education. We know that racism will eventually rear its ugly head; we try our best to give them the ammunition to confront it head-on when it does. Yet people of color aren't the only ones who need to understand prejudice. White children should be taught about it too, so that by the time it comes up in school, they are sensitized to the issue, not dismissive of it. And like sex, if a child has reached 9 or 10 without ever asking about it, it's probably a good idea to go ahead and have "the big talk". At that age, a fifteen minute history lesson should do the trick."
--Meera Johnson
SUMMARY: ethnic preening, self-segregation and prideful racial identification at the age of 4 is not racism. Nor is teaching that MLK had to fight evil Whites, who are the devil.
Rule 6: Don’t wait for your kids to come to you with questions about racism.
"In my home, discussions about race, racial representation and racism are as common as the latest episode of “American Idol.” In fact, American Idol has been the starting point for some discussions! What my 8-year old contributes towards these discussions are very different than what my 13- year old contributes – but the main point is that they both contribute."
--Anonymous
SUMMARY: instead of letting your children enjoy their youth and encouraging them to play outside, throw them in front of the TV for American Idol and find the right moments to spoon feed political propaganda.
